Emmett and the Little Irish Leprechaun
by I Don't Bite-much
Summary: Hi, this is a one-shot for my OCD Leprechaun friend. Basically it's what would happen if Emmet were to piss off a Leprechaun. Very OOC and AU. All vampires. Thanks.


**Hi guys this story is for my own OCD Little Irish Leprechaun™, Katie. It may seem a bit random because …. It is. A few of the events have to do with my English and Biology lessons, in both of which some events occurred. That was a dodgy sentence. Anyways, one of the aims of this was to dissuade her from talking in an Irish accent and it was her idea to be either a leprechaun or a talking tree. Don't ask. Anyways that's it for now. Byes. X-Hannah-X**

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Emmett Cullen was B-O-R-E-D. Bored. Rose and Alice had gone shopping with Esme, Carlisle was at work and Jasper and Edward were in Alaska, with the Denali coven. He had already been hunting enough times so he decided to go for a walk. Human style.

A few hours later he was getting bored again. All he had seen were trees, grass and more trees. He debated about turning back and was about to leave when he heard a voice. But not just any voice. An Irish voice. Mumbling about "Damn frogs."

Immediately, his curiosity was piqued. Emmett liked frogs. Although they tasted a bit watery, they were usually amusing to watch. So he followed the voice that was insistent on talking about small amphibian creatures.

Soon he arrived at a small clearing. It was perfectly circular and every blade of grass was exactly two centimetres high. There were exactly 100 perfect daisies and 50 four leaved clovers.

Emmett gulped. This place was too neat. It looked as if it had been designed by someone with severe OCD. Emmett had an almost ADHD personality. OCD + ADHD = Not Good.

Suddenly a short figure came into view. It, or rather she, was about 99.5 cm tall. She had light brown hair and big blue eyes. Also she looked extremely pissed off.

She obviously hadn't noticed Emmett yet as she continued grumbling about frogs in a high pitched Irish lilt.

"Damn frogs and their stupid mating season. Not everybody likes taking a bath in frogspawn!"

Emmett couldn't help it, he laughed. The main problem being that it wasn't a quiet chuckle, but a deep, throaty belly-shaker. The girls head snapped in the direction of the sound. It was then that he noticed the girl was wearing a bright green, slightly ragged dress, with black stockings and green sneakers.

Within a second, the mysterious girl was standing in front of him, a frown upon her petite face. He patted her on the head and she growled.

Quickly she booted him in the shin and he fell over in sock and pain. The kick actually hurt. The strange girl sat down next to him, smiling sweetly.

"Now that pleasantries are out of the way, who are you? My name is Katie and I'm a Little Irish Leprechaun™. I haven't actually seen a vampire like you in roughly 53 years, 4 months and 12 days. Roughly."

Emmett said the most intelligent thing he could think of at that moment in time.

"Eh?"

She laughed a twinkling laugh.

"I know about all magical creatures, it's in my blood." She explained.

Emmett thought f something random.

"Katie's not an Irish name."

Those big blue eyes seemed to lose their sparkle for a moment, before it quickly returned.

"I'm not Irish" she confided. "Never been to Ireland in my life."

"So why do you talk like that?" Emmett asked, confused.

"Like what?"

"Like that! With an Irish accent!"

"Because I'm a Little Irish Leprechaun™" Katie explained slowly, as if talking to a small child.

"But your not Irish?" Emmett asked slowly. She shook her head. He stayed silent for another moment before another thought occurred.

"You're short."

Katie's eyes narrowed and she stood up slowly. Emmett followed suit.

"I may not be very tall, but I am a lot stronger than you."

Emmett laughed scornfully. "Yeah right shrimpy."

2 seconds later, Emmett had lost a certain…appendage. Katie disappeared faster than a vampire on a hunt whilst Emmett fused himself back together, hoping that Edward wasn't there when he got home.

After he arrived, the gale of laughter made his hopes seem in vain. He was right.

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**So, that's what you get when you have a weird group of friends and an author high on sugar. Told you I'd be random and Katie wanted me to put the phrase 'I thought you sad he had a big package?' in, and I tried but it was a bit of a lame ending. Sorry if you feel less of me as a writer due to this, but to be honest, I don't really care if you hate me. So byes :-) X-Hannah-X P.S sugar is sooooooo good!!**


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